How to Rage like Santa

You know you can rely on me for real practical advise on cycling questions.  Many people are aware that Santa, saint though he may be, is also human and vulnerable to the mental stress brought on by the holidays.  In recent years he's had a relief valve as his character becomes morphed into hundreds of Santoids who vent his pent up rage by pedaling bar to bar in Milwaukee on the annual Santa Cycle Rampage.

The photos tell the story well, but you may need some practical advise if you want to join the crew of jolly old elves.  First, there's the choice of costume.  You can find cheapos real easily at Bartz or any party supply store or hit St. Vinnie's for anything blatantly red and make your own.  Yours truly went as "Bad Santa" and other than a cheap hat, red lame' tights and some fake fur there was little expense involved.  Attitude is everything.  Oh, and a plastic candy cane to serve as my male enhancement and two tail light flashers for testicles, mad Bad Santa a real lady pleaser.  Even got my photo taken with Santa's little Ho Ho.

How to judge the weather?  Simple.  Turn on the TV or computer and check the forecast.  Dress appropriately.  If it will be icy lots of padding will lesson the pavement impact.  If rainy, like this year, rummaging for a dry cleaner bag makes for a fine see-through poncho.  Spare gloves, socks and Grabber hand and toe warmers are also advised for any weather.

Choice of bike.  Fenders may not be cool, but Santa with a brown stripe up his/her butt isn't either.  What's more you have to sit on it if you can find a place to sit, which is not likely.  There were at best guess around 700 santas riding this year despite the weather.  Gearing is not a problem.  One will do as slow is the only speed that makes sense.  Fatter tires are advised though the super fatties were a bit of overkill and only produced wider butt stripes.

Next year's Milwaukee Santa Rampage will be on December 14.  Talks are underway to have a post-ride party at a large hall in the downtown area.  Stay tuned or check out the Facebook site.  Hope this advise helps your decision to ride future rampages or keep it all bottled up inside and stay home.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas,

Pee Oui

Santa Rampage link: http://www.facebook.com/santarampage